Daniel Goleman on compassion

Excerpts:

There’s a new field in brain science, social neuroscience. This studies the circuitry in two people’s brains that activates while they interact. And the new thinking about compassion from social neuroscience is that our default wiring is to help. That is to say, if we attend to the other person, we automatically empathize, we automatically feel with them. There are these newly identified neurons, mirror neurons, that act like a neuro Wi-Fi, activating in our brain exactly the areas activated in theirs. We feel “with” automatically. And if that person is in need, if that person is suffering, we’re automatically prepared to help. At least that’s the argument.

But then the question is: Why don’t we? And I think this speaks to a spectrum that goes from complete self-absorption, to noticing, to empathy and to compassion. And the simple fact is, if we are focused on ourselves, if we’re preoccupied, as we so often are throughout the day, we don’t really fully notice the other. And this difference between the self and the other focus can be very subtle.

Some time ago when I was working for the New York Times, it was in the ’80s, I did an article on what was then a new problem in New York — it was homeless people on the streets. And I spent a couple of weeks going around with a social work agency that ministered to the homeless. And I realized seeing the homeless through their eyes that almost all of them were psychiatric patients that had nowhere to go. They had a diagnosis. It made me — what it did was to shake me out of the urban trance where, when we see, when we’re passing someone who’s homeless in the periphery of our vision, it stays on the periphery. We don’t notice and therefore we don’t act.

One day soon after that — it was a Friday — at the end of the day, I went down — I was going down to the subway. It was rush hour and thousands of people were streaming down the stairs. And all of a sudden as I was going down the stairs I noticed that there was a man slumped to the side, shirtless, not moving, and people were just stepping over him — hundreds and hundreds of people. And because my urban trance had been somehow weakened, I found myself stopping to find out what was wrong. The moment I stopped, half a dozen other people immediately ringed the same guy. And we found out that he was Hispanic, he didn’t speak any English, he had no money, he’d been wandering the streets for days, starving, and he’s fainted from hunger. Immediately someone went to get orange juice, someone brought a hotdog, someone brought a subway cop. This guy was back on his feet immediately. But all it took was that simple act of noticing. And so I’m optimistic.

via Daniel Goleman on compassion | Video on TED.com.